my cat jasper hangs by the door,
and heaves a great feline sigh.
he misses his lover dimebag,
it's been some time since he's stopped by.
i remember when it happened,
how they'd wrestle, meow and play
and since this is northampton
it's only right that jasper's gay.
i bought him a rainbow collar
and i let dimebag come inside
and even though they made a mess of things
true love can't be denied.

and though they sometimes fought and hissed
the war would end with class,
dimebag would sit on jasper's face
or put his snout right up his ass.
they'd cuddle on the love seat
and they'd purr the whole night long
jasper'd share his dry food, too
it seemed nothing could go wrong.

it's true that jasper was submissive,
and dimebag somewhat of a dom,
so it's only right that in the sack
the two shared quite a healthy bond.
i'd hear them in the kitchen
while i tried to cook or clean,
and even though it was off-putting,
who would censor such a scene?

but dimebag's eye went wandering,
that two-timing kitty whore,
to a thinner, female princess
who just happens to live next door.
and i suppose that she is pretty
and carries herself with grace,
but it figures she's not interested,
because cats also love the chase.

i can't help but mourn for jasper,
my clumsy, spastic friend
who loved dimebag so deeply
he cannot accept this is the end.
and i know that he feels helpless,
cause i'm going through it too,
getting dumped by an overzealous moocher
that left me feeling blue.

but i think we should be empowered
and say fuck you, fickle jerks
you broke our hearts and yeah, we're sad
but being single has its perks.
there are tons of cats in this neighborhood
and i bet they think we're cute,
and if you didn't know already,
it should be said, we're both a hoot.

but for now, jasper and i are healing
and dimebag stays outside
and if he even tries to come crawling back
jasper will run and hide.
and the nights, well they get lonely
since now there's no one here to bone
but we curl up and sleep together
since we're better off alone.

04/14/2010

Posted on 04/14/2010
Copyright © 2024 Lauren Singer