I am conflicted

stuck between my selfish eyes

my selfish hands

and the awareness of the constrictive nature of my actions.



hold me tighter

kiss me lighter



i do not learn from my mistakes

but continue to repeat the same unfortunate steps

i have walked many misconceived times before.

and i am not naive to this fact.

a martyr to my own stubbornness and hopefulness.



do not let me mislead you..

in my hopefulness i am completely hopeless.

desiring what i know will not come

nor even exist to consider whispering complex flattery along my thighs



and he still shows up wandering through my dreams,

a hypocrite in his existence there,

for i know he was no dream.

yet i melt in those moments all the same

and curse my own loss of control once pale morning seeps into my empty room.



and once again, I have tripped on the net

and fallen into his best friends eyes.

.... i never learn from my mistakes.



i have hopes and dreams i will not admit to

will not write or emit through my glossed lips.

however, i am told i tell all my secrets through my eyes

too bad you'll never look deep enough to see them.



you'll miss the fact that in moments when i am silent and sad

03/03/2006

Posted on 03/07/2010
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