"but this is all i have"

by Beth K Hannah

there have been moments when I forget
Where it all slides out of my mind
and I can go about my day
With my mind securely focused on potential

there are also moments when it
Swarms in my head
Like an angry swarm of wasps
waiting for somewhere to drop their stingers
So i'm left with a reminder welt
of how it all went wrong

rediscovering my old favorite songs
bring me back to multiple times
i was always wrong
incapable of being right.

And i still think you are right.
I still can't bring my mind
to shift away from parts
where i am capable of functioning
like a normal person

Its as if everything that has ever
taken place in my skin
on my skin
near my skin
has ripped my ability to cope
to shreds

and now the shreds hang around my waist
as a reminder of what i will
never be able to do
without flinching.


Author's Note: i always end up saying "but this is all i have" or "but this is all I am" to people.

Posted on 03/01/2010
Copyright © 2023 Beth K Hannah

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Nanette Bellman on 03/01/10 at 10:52 PM

This piece reminds me of a crust. Because I think there is something very heaby lying underneath but you're only letting the reader see what you'll allow them to see. Not to mention, the crust seems to give away to the final stanza. Seems like you got some deep deep stuff going on and I've got an idea with what. Good luck.

Posted by Sarah Wolf on 03/02/10 at 09:04 PM

An amazingly powerful piece. I believe the reason I liked this so much was because is summarizes so many complex thoughts in a simple way that I can digest and feel.

Posted by Bertram Sparagmos on 06/01/13 at 09:31 PM

It eats us like cancer, but we're coming for something. There's some reason to move forward, to carry what is left towards the all-encompassing "Whatever that is up ahead". In the face of it all, it still stands and still moves on, so perhaps whatever it is that you have is enough. Potent allegory, either way.

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