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turn the page
by Nanette Bellmani'm finding the irony in how the moments we've waited for
finally catch up to us and more often than not,
we turn and run with our tails between our legs.
at least this is the case for me today through sunday.
there isn't a medicine made for the kind of panic attack you give me.
because just this thought of you, this notice you've inadvertently given me,
has got my heart in my throat wondering if i should really even bother.
there are no laws for people who've committed a form adultery.
there is no playbook or code of conduct for people like us.
my insides are turning outside because i'm finally getting what i want
and it's not that it's not good enough, which is the usual excuse for others,
it just scares to hell out of me.
i am one step ahead of you.
the cards are in my hand and you are unaware of my appearance
but that gives me no solace because you've seen the things up my sleeve.
i am questioning my abilities of keeping my mouth shut, should i invest in needle and thread?
i am questioning my capabilities of keeping my hands to myself, should i bring handcuffs?
the one thing i am not questioning is this feeling inside me,
my heart and soul, sending me an S.O.S.
and saying that it just ain't right, making someone feel this way, feel like i do,
that i should change my mind, change my plans,
and let you run me away.
i am holding onto "nobody puts baby in a corner!"
and the fact that i'm a Libra and that means i have equal opportunity rights.
i am praying to God to give me wisdom, courage and strength.
because we are adults.
i am beyond wanting to spit down your neck if i were to ever see you again.
i am ready to stand up tall, stand on this ground,
and not be moved by you at all.
i'd say i'm ready to shake your hand,
but you don't really exist anymore... 01/30/2010 Author's Note: here i go playing star again...
please keep me in your thoughts Sunday evening 1/31/10. i will need all the strength i can to not turn it into the Thunderdome. thanks. *n
Posted on 01/30/2010
Copyright © 2024 Nanette Bellman
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Therese Elaine on 01/30/10 at 05:00 PM "Stand it like a man...and give some back." You're at that point where you're going to give it back -as you should, as you need to -you've carried the burdens of courtesy and hostility and absence for too long -and even if the other person refuses to take their share, nothing in the rules says you can't dump it on the ground and walk away. You'll be in my thoughts. |
| Posted by V. Blake on 02/02/10 at 12:16 AM Tremendous power in this poem, Nan. You've got a way with words that no one should even dare to try imitating. |
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