|Member Comments on this Poem|
|Posted by Allison Smith on 01/18/10 at 07:10 AM|
I love the unraveling.
|Posted by Michael Smith on 01/18/10 at 08:47 AM|
The "threads" motif is really cool here. Reminds me of Weezer's sweater song. The most interesting thing about this is an insight into relationships (which I invented in my mind): people, upon splitting up, seem to get back together in varying capacities in the strangest of ways or for the strangest reasons (to me). Anyway, I like how this flows, and then creates enough room for a sequel. Good stuff, as usual.
|Posted by George Hoerner on 01/18/10 at 02:43 PM|
Exceptionally fine write Vince. One of the advantages of being married to a nurse. When I've gone to pieces she has always been willing able to put me back together again, unlike the kings horses and men. Would that I could do the same for her.
|Posted by Rachel Bennett on 01/18/10 at 05:42 PM|
I'm in love with those first few lines. This is one of your best poems ever, dude.
|Posted by Therese Elaine on 01/18/10 at 06:20 PM|
The last part causes that breastbone ache...what a gorgeous piece you've made -and while that doesn't necessarily surprise me, this one hits a lot of personal notes and I agree with Rachel, I think it's one of your best.
|Posted by Julie Adams on 01/18/10 at 09:08 PM|
how fine is ur needle's eye, how well u sew a poem...how I love to read u, no matter the subject, no matter the day...a pleasure, peace to u poet, ~jewels
|Posted by Alison McKenzie on 01/18/10 at 11:56 PM|
"and someone will find a reason quivering in the debris".....this, this is magic
|Posted by Lauren Singer on 01/19/10 at 06:03 AM|
"on the fringes of our past"
|Posted by Nanette Bellman on 01/19/10 at 06:41 AM|
You already know this is my favorite piece of yours.
|Posted by Ava Blu on 01/19/10 at 09:29 PM|
I've never been a fan of using a line from the poem as a title, unless it's a really awesome line, so I don't think the title is attention-grabbing. I really like the same line Lauren does, the "on fringes of our past". I don't like the use of the ellipse. The rest of it is good but not great to me. I don't see anything new here, nothing that is attempting to steal my breath. It's all about using the same words everyone uses and putting them in a special language, changing them, twisting them into something new. I didn't see that here like I see so well in "The Far Side of Intentions". I do not consider this to be anywhere near your best work. Just my little two cents, since you asked for them....
|Posted by Sandy M. Humphrey on 01/19/10 at 10:37 PM|
A kindred thread in this one poet, there are so many fine poet's on this site but your daily entries are intriguing and beguiling and a chapbook would be in order for you are having an excellent month. This one struck a chord. Fav. smh
|Posted by Steven Kenworthy on 01/21/10 at 05:04 AM|
ahh, the beauty of being torn apart and shredded like pink wheat in love. there are few things as romantic as romance being ripped to pieces...knowing that there will be a big uphill following the big downhill. good stuff VB.
|Posted by Nanette Bellman on 01/24/10 at 06:40 AM|
Congrats on POTD friend.
|Posted by Michael Smith on 01/24/10 at 12:18 PM|
Ha! Congrats on POTD, Vince! Much deserved indeed, and how cool that it's up there when it is still dancing about the Top 2!
|Posted by Laura Doom on 01/24/10 at 12:30 PM|
So, your first potd! I have no idea as to the criteria used currently for selecting these pieces. In assuming one is poetic merit, I suggest this piece merits its place as an example of an extended metaphor which doesn't unravel before the tapestry is complete.
My one query concerns the use of 'debris' in the final stanza; a minor reservation in a poem that, for me, deserves its place on the front page.
|Posted by George Hoerner on 01/24/10 at 09:05 PM|
I understand the debris Vince and why it is POTD. You are making a mark on this site and I must say it is refreshing. Take care and keep up the fine work.
|Posted by Michael Defries on 01/25/10 at 05:01 AM|
I like how tactile the piece is. The wording makes it really tangible. Good use of diametrically opposed words: unravels, fringes, rip, shred, undone and then focus, stitch, seams. Very Vivid! I appreciate the nature of this piece...Good work!