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20 minutes into the day
by Ava Bluwithout a father, i think i became too
manly - more protective and harsh than i’d like to be
it was the easiest thing to become
the thing inside me that lasted long enough being unfed
if i could kill with my fingernails,
i would
i would tear someone into the bits and pieces of another life
of another death
and i would place them in my garden
i would protect my flowers
like my children
growing
til
they’re
grown
and i would pluck them
til
they’re all
gone
no one wants someone like this
no one will ever really love this about me
and no one ever should. 01/11/2010 Posted on 01/12/2010
Copyright © 2024 Ava Blu
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 01/12/10 at 01:51 AM I'd say it's not only a poem, but it's an awfully damn good poem, too. That opening stanza is just powerhouse stuff, grabbing our attention right on those first two lines. It just gets better from there, especially with that image in the third and fourth stanza. It's just amazing, easily unforgettable stuff. I'd say this is definitely a poem. |
| Posted by Michael Smith on 01/12/10 at 03:47 AM This is brutal, and I love it -- not just because of its obvious strength and the author's profound honesty (with themself as well as us), but also because it provides valuable insight into individuals who come from the background mentioned. It actually seems to clarify things. Thanks so much for sharing this brilliant work poem, Ava.
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| Posted by Jo Halliday on 01/12/10 at 07:54 PM What's the purpose of the author note though? An anticipatory bail? I fail to understand that. |
| Posted by Nanette Bellman on 01/14/10 at 05:43 AM I disagree, I think this should be loved about you... |
| Posted by Therese Elaine on 01/15/10 at 07:29 PM This is a poem...and that quality should be loved, and admired, if for no other reason than it is honest -and there is ugliness in all of us. Sometimes, it is those ugly or harsh or hurtful parts that let the rest of the beautiful ones survive...and you, my dear -have survived admirably. |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 01/18/10 at 02:42 PM I rated this so high, as I tend to with ur poetry, for the flesh and bone I find within each piece...tho I am a vegetarian, this piece is a poem, and one I can really sink my teeth into...ur a pleasure to read always...all the best always, jewels |
| Posted by Steve Michaels on 10/11/10 at 02:38 PM This I love:
if i could kill with my fingernails,
i would
i would tear someone into the bits and pieces of another life
of another death
and i would place them in my garden |
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