I use to know him,
I use to have a father,
He left for something better,
I think he was just tired of hanging around
And now I am sorry

His memories keep popping up in my mind,
And I think if then, that was all a dream,
A figmentation of my imaginatory state,
But I assure you that they happened,
I am assured that the were concrete and substantial

How quick to forget I am, that ever did I have some father,
My memories never fond,
Only the some, in which, there ever were,
So those are the ones that I grasp onto,
And never to forget that those are the ones which have built me,

When I was young my daddy use to take me places,
Some I can and have revisited,
And some I shall never step towards,
If I can just feel okay
That I shall never walk there again with the father figure I had,

I had a father,
He was some guy I knew,
And when I asked for support he said,
I'll do it for you,

How obscure?
Must I face this challenge that was created for me?
It is called life,
And my father is one, or the other, that has set the rules,
I have not been able to follow a direction without getting lost,

My point being that I liked it, when it was simple,
And I could just sit down in front of a television,
And know that he or she would let me watch cartoons,
Instead of watching what they wanted me to watch,
I guess my mentor was bugs bunny,

Profound,
Isn’t it?
Or sad that the way of life was taught to me by the boob-tube,
But my father warned me, or something like that,
He must have said go to sleep its late,

And then I just stayed up waiting for that man to come and say,
Son how are you doing,
As though it were not important,
So I just remember me getting older and having to teach myself,
My so-called dad did not ever become my dad until his near-death,

Does death change a person so much?
Can it really change the perspective,
Is that light, the one that goes out, after you go,
How do you really feel?
Invincible?

Or closer to nothing that you never believed in?
I really hurt about that,
My father chose not to become a friend, until I was proven,
I proved that I could be a person,
Not the animal that I had turned into,

I had gone a way, in order to be noticed,
And I never did,
So I found out that I was needed,
I was needed for something,
So I chose to accept,

When my father decided to go,
He called me and said that I was all he had left,

I am a little bitter about this,
And I packed myself and went,
So I arrived and started to live,
And soon he started to die,

So I went for my brother,
Because I was never a brother,
Only some trouble maker,
I caused some trouble, yes I did,
And paid my dues indeed.

04/28/1998

Posted on 01/11/2010
Copyright © 2024 Michael Defries