|
ephemeral
by Uriel Tovaryou've always faded
into the
dark corners
dispersing
into the air at
the first sign of light
when my way
left chained to your toes
by tongue
dragged behind you
a kind of
clunk, clank
fashion
my essence dragged across the floor.
12/18/2009 Posted on 12/18/2009
Copyright © 2024 Uriel Tovar
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Doreen Cavazza on 05/03/11 at 10:33 PM This has potential. It only needs a little work.I like the idea you're trying to get to here.
My suggestions are to use punctuation in order to control the flow and relay the message clearly.
I'm not understanding lines 7,8, and 9. Perhaps working these some will clear up the idea.
Overall, I like this. |
|
