Grandpa:

Racism is a funny thing. The world’s so, well, politically correct. Back in my day, we called a black person a nigger. Then they wanted to be called African Americans. Now they want to be called black people. Next week, who knows what else? I can’t keep up all the time, so I’m a racist? Well, maybe I got better things to do with my time then worrying about the state of black people.

What do I have? I have the field. My family. A few simple pleasures in life: A drink here and there, hunting with my dog for some birds. A deer.
My biggest worry is always what the weather’s doing. Why should I worry about other people’s rights? You got homosexuals, who I have no problem with, yelling about getting married and having equal rights. Well hey, they have equal rights. They can own a gun, they can get married to the opposite sex. Why do they have to want to change laws for their own sake? That seems kinda unfair, ain’t it? I mean, don’t get me wrong, they should be treated like human beings, but should I be able to change laws so I can get everything I want? Seems awfully silly to me. Heck, the Bible tells how the way it should be between a man and a woman, not a man and a man, or whatever. I don’t hate gay people, what they do is their own business, but this country was founded on certain Christian ideals, ideals that helped form this nation, led it through some tough times, and has kept us a powerful nation. So, between the blacks and the gays, I am not a racist.

And I love Hispanics! Mexicans work my field for half the money of a white man, I’d be STUPID not to hire them! Racist? I think not! Those guys are some of the most hard working men I know! Well, when you find a good one. Most of them you have to watch, otherwise they’ll rob you blind if you turn your back. But the good ones, they’re worth their weight in gold. When they’re not drunk.

On the other hand. at least Mexicans show up on time, unlike the Indians. Drunk, dumb, and they don’t know how to show up on time. Granted, I have nothing wrong with the way an Indian wants to live their life. I just know they’d be better off getting sobered up off the reservation, working a real job instead of collecting money from the government. If they just did that, they’d be all right in my book.

See? I’m not racist. I don’t understand racism. It sure is a funny thing, any how. Oofta.

11/30/2009

Author's Note: This is intended specifically as a monologue, for a character. This does not necessarily reflect MY views on things. this is part attempted satire/exploration of the darker parts of a North Dakotan mentality. I haven't got it right. It needs more satire. If anyone has some really amazing suggestions, or an an AHA! moment of what could be funny, drop me a private message or something.

Posted on 11/30/2009
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