|
just do it already
by Ava Bluthe tub wasn't quite deep enough
for my head to be easily submerged
(just my luck)
the water couldn't even muffle the ringing in my ears
i kept hearing it say,
"Do it! Just do it already.
Turn your head to the side; you just need enough water to fill your mouth and nose."
i obliged,
for a moment,
but couldn't stay
i stared at the too white ceiling,
its starkness mocking so sweetly
my skin wrinkled,
the water turned frigid
but my eyes stare forth,
fixated on a life i want to throw away
throw away and begin anew
(it only takes a few inches of water, if you really want to do it)
instead i emerge battered
but never quite broken enough
and i tell you of my story once again. 11/15/2009 Posted on 11/15/2009
Copyright © 2024 Ava Blu
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 11/15/09 at 06:11 PM What I love about this is how virtually anyone else would overdo a piece like this. Most writers would rant, rave, whine and push needlessly complicated metaphor, killing any chance of something that truly lets us into their mind. You don't make any of those mistakes. Your imagery here is simple but absolutely brilliant in how it goes about that simplicity. Everything in this poem deals in snapshots that lay everything on the table by forcing us to look at what's there in its purest form. You very often put a quiet voice to your work, but here, because of that imagery (the seventh stanza is still flooring me) that quiet tone is almost frightening. Very few people have the courage to be this honest in their work and fewer still are capable of being that honest without coming as self-indulgent. You never seem to stop showing us how it should be done. Yet another one that you should be extremely proud of. |
| Posted by Jo Halliday on 11/18/09 at 02:14 PM Beautifully written! |
|
