There is a thick curtain between this world and the next.
In this world, I have found places where that curtain is
as thin as gossamer, and you can see through it.
Old churches, Jewish death camps, memorials,
The site of the World Trade Center bombing,
the Oklahoma City bombing, and cemeteries.

I love visiting cemeteries. The one my father is interred in,
the cemetery where my grandparents and relatives are buried,
even the local cemetery, just a few blocks from my home.
I went there today, to find peace and beauty.
To be close to God and to see the memorials of people with God.
I know when I die I will be with Him, and everyone else.

I arrive there at noon, with worldly concerns ranging from:
Is my load of laundry done? To thoughts of my impending divorce.
My husband has fired me from the job of being his wife.
He is trying to fire me from my job as mother as well.
Come November, when it is all over, will I have enough money
to replace my deteriorating car? Maybe buy a house of my own?

I sit, I ponder, and I watch the widows come and go,
lovingly caring for their husbands’ graves. I won’t be doing that.
Does my husband know he fired me from caring for his grave?
I know I will be remembered as a very generous, caring person.
I do not worry about anyone tending my grave. I am like my father,
and my father is well remembered a decade after his death.

My worldly concerns disappear as I sit in that cemetery.
If I am to die tomorrow, my children were well taken care of.
I set a good example of loving God and loving thy neighbors.
I have positively impacted the lives of hundreds, just like Dad.
I have lived a life full of travel, spirituality, and love
in this temporary realm. I did my best. What else matters?

I return to my apartment and put the laundry in the dryer.
I think about the wrongs I have done to others.
Some of them I have confessed to publicly, some only to God.
I analyze my character defects - again - and why they are there.
Then I pray to God to remove them.

I don’t know why God gave me another day in this world, but He did.
Another day to love those who love me,
as well as those who don’t love me at all.
Bring on the storms; the lawyers, the bills, the Guardian Ad Litem.
God will provide, or He will not for very good reasons.
Thy will be done. hagase tu voluntad. Thy will be done.

10/20/2009

Author's Note: “The world’s your ship, not your home.” - St. Theresa.

Posted on 10/20/2009
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