It wakes me out of a sound sleep.
What was that? That noise?
CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP.
The cricket, he's back again.

For the third night in a row
this little SOB has woke me up.
I slowly creep from my bed,
determined to get him this time.

CHIRP, CHIRP, One foot on the floor.
He stops. I sit quietly and wait.
CHIRP, Slowly I get up and, CHIRP,
creep into the kitchen where he is.

No sound. He's waiting for me.
Waiting for me to give up.
This time I'll get you.
I leave off the lights and wait.

CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP,
I flick on the flashlight
and get on my hands and knees.
He's under the fridge I know.

I shine the light into his beady eyes.
CHIRP, CHIRP, Yeah, chirp you SOB
I've got you now! What can I use?
I can't get to him to smash him.

We are in a stare down now
as I comtemplate my revenge.
No bug spray available,
so I head to the bathroom.

CHIRP, CHIRP, CHIRP,
Oh no, You haven't won yet.
Don't think you have.
AHA HAIRSPRAY, That'll do it.

CHIRP, CHIRP, OK, you're dead now.
Back to my position by the fridge.
Flashlight on. Where'd he go?
CHIRP, he jumps on my naked thigh.

The chase is on now, across the kitchen floor.
I'm spraying and swatting at the same time.
AHA, I GOT YOU, YOU SOB. TAKE THAT AND THAT.
Finally he's only a big slimy smear.

NOW the hubby wakes up and stumbles in.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Oh nothing" I reply, "Couldn't sleep.
Go back to bed sweetie, I'm coming."

I climb back in beside him and sigh,
"It's so nice to have a big, strong husband
to protect me from the creatures of the night."
And he snores on.

08/09/2009

Author's Note: after 3 hours of playing "cat and mouse" or rather "wild woman and cricket" patience won out and he'll never disturb my sleep again. HA!

Posted on 08/09/2009
Copyright © 2026 Maude Curtis