i placed my hands
over the bulging belly
and felt something new inside me.

I was waiting for the water
to rush down my legs
and the contractions to start
but i felt no pain, no pressure,
i felt nothing.

and at some point i found you
in a Native American gift shop
in a mall.
i look up and seen you
and in that instant you were gone
but we were engaged
in conversation over our cell phones.

i ended up in the worst part of town
and you were right behind me
or in front of me
or just in the vicinity of me.
and i remember seeing
bits and pieces, mental playback
of you getting held up
at a drive-thru.

i heard it all.
i screamed out for you
and as broken as your body was,
you ran towards me,
where i told you to go
and i met you halfway,
down the walkway
and threw my arms around you
and i told you just how much i love you

...and i woke up crying...

07/19/2009

Author's Note: cancer + mania = this.

Posted on 07/19/2009
Copyright © 2024 Nanette Bellman