My heart is fragmented, the pieces promised to many and too few. Wholeness feels distant, a great space waiting to be filled makes my own soul seem oddly empty. Greatness has found me through those whose lives have been bigger than mine, more than mine - folks whose presence has occasioned my to feel touched by God. I know a beautiful lady who seems younger each time I see her and have the fortune of calling her a friend and my mom. I've known beautiful ladies who I feel connected to even years after death. Grandmothers, great grandmothers, great aunts, friends. Life's losses, so definingly sad for the melancholy are of people I love to remember. Friends, boisterous and infinitely humorous friends. The lives they touched now moving in various directions, away from them, not even grasping. I've brothers and a father who have made some of the best friends of my life. They seem to loom above me, the things they've done so much more important that who I feel like I am at times. I love them for it. Even children with their own special chaos find my heart and steal it. Nieces and nephews, little people I want great things for, It's me sometimes, but more often it is them. I'm not even a slight fraction of who I am without the friends and family that have made me, are still making me. My! How different things feel at thirty. 1.1.2010

01/01/2010

Author's Note: This is a complete rewrite of an idea I posted 6/23/2009.

Posted on 06/23/2009
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