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Phoney
by Joan SerratelliI'm just a phoney
trying hard
to be real
playing roles
in a play
I've no interest in
I try very hard
to be
something I'm not
I'm told
who to be
what to be
but never allowed
to be
who I am
Never allowed
to question
WHY
just to do
as I'm told
Where does it all end?
I cannot go on
wishing, wanting, hoping
but not being
This is not living
it's hell
I wish
I could change
but change is too hard
and I'm getting
too old
So all I can do
is sit here
and wait
and watch the things
around me change
while I don't
because it's
too hard
and I cannot
and will not
settle for less
I so desperately
want only
to be me 05/05/2009 Author's Note: A work in progress????? You tell me!
Posted on 05/05/2009
Copyright © 2026 Joan Serratelli
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by A. Paige White on 05/05/09 at 02:36 PM This reminds me of one of my yesterday's meditations... We (if we are well conditioned to people pleasing) have the hardest time saying no to people because in fact it's saying yes to me! Of course there is always balance, but I think sometimes we're trained out of balance but taught to believe a lie because someone wanted to manipulate us.... just my thoughts. Hang in there. Maybe try one thing new a day... like saying YES to you! |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 05/05/09 at 02:47 PM ...so?...i tease Joan, ms. Skeen says it. it's a human thing. i can see me saying those words that you use...sometimes we [the human specie] can't see the blessings because of one [perhaps little] thingee doesn't go right...yet i'm not belittling your plea...i am painted with the same Lord's brush: i feel like, and i'm 62, i've been "phoney" more times than i've been genuine...but then again, that's a lotta years to think back-on...so in toto, i'm hoping St. Peter will let me pass...well written, annnnnd Ms. Joan, EVERY POME[sic]IS UNFINISHED, SO IT'S MORE WHEN WE DECIDE TO "STOP" IT...GOOD WRITE. |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 05/05/09 at 03:06 PM I don't know. Seems pretty complete to me. Really good, too. |
| Posted by Ken Harnisch on 05/05/09 at 03:28 PM if you can breathe and dream and do, Joan, you are not too old. Never. To realize the truth, as you do here, is the first step towards going without fear into its light |
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