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[self destruct in 3..2..]

by Anar Patel

i was wired with a permanent self destruct button
catalyzed by that one person
he got married this weekend
i drank a bottle of wine
how wonderfully cliche

the one who said he'd always love me
who i pushed aside
engaged.
my life is grand

the current one
in love with me
wants to live with me
have a future
start a life

and if only he knew
i want to give it all up
go back to new york
city where no one loves me
its only lust there

and if only i could stop
flirting with other men
being me
testing every possible limit
until he realizes

i wish he didnt trust me
if he'd only be the destructive one
who would check my texts
and my facebook
and just get rid of me
before i hurt him

and im counting down until i self destruct
do i tell him now
or do i pretend everything is okay
that i love him

i would give anything
to be in love with the man who loves me
but i cant
so its time to leave

self destruct in
three.
two.
one.

story of my life

04/26/2009

Author's Note: bah. ive lost my ability to write. i give up.

Posted on 04/27/2009
Copyright © 2024 Anar Patel

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 04/27/09 at 01:17 AM

I happen to think this awfully damn good, personally.

Posted by Jo Halliday on 04/27/09 at 02:20 AM

Lost your ability to write? bah. This is good, really good. And it touches, pricks somewhere.

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