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uttering nonsense on the way out
by Ava Bluit was in a passing moment
that she found the will to
be
and in that passing
of one life to the next
she stopped once to tie her
shoe
it came untied again
only a few steps further
and the blue on her shirt was a little too
bright
to become the moment
she saved her nickels
and bought someone else's
heart
with the high blood pressure
of being an excuse
she couldn't walk through the
door
in the passing moment
between one door opening and another closing
she saw the life she gave away
and those feelings of remorse
were not being choked on
like they should
and to be the moment
to be the one never losing
she had to take a
gulp.
04/18/2009 Author's Note: ugh
Posted on 04/18/2009
Copyright © 2026 Ava Blu
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 04/18/09 at 08:39 PM You can "ugh" all you want, but I quite like this. As usual, you don't go overboard on details. You hit all the right notes, moving us breathlessly and flawlessly through some really striking, memorable images to create a person that's right there in our heads by the time the piece ends. This is another one of your pieces that I'd love to see become a song. |
| Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 04/18/09 at 08:55 PM I quite like this too. So much so, I have no words to say. It leaves me in speechless, awestruck way.This is incredible writing. EXCELLENT,Ava Blu! |
| Posted by Anita Mac on 04/21/09 at 03:15 PM It is quite striking, put a very interesting storyboard in my mind. I think the form really suits it quite perfectly. |
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