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Letter

by Vikki Owens

My lovely One,
My heart aches. I look at you and see a beauty I cannot have, a mind I do not hold.
I see skin I cannot touch, a heart that turns away from me. My mind turns dark and collapses.
I built my life, beam after beam,
upon the knowledge of you and your love for me.
I thought my house was strong. Now it seems it was built of salt,
and has started to dissolve.
Why have you fallen from me. I tried so hard to hold on to you.
I did everything I could.
I kept every promise I made.
I loved you with all my heart.
Why was that not enough?

Once upon a time, I had no dreams.
My life was dreamless, aimless, seemingly endless.
There was no light.
I walked from day to day like a ghost. I was formless.
I felt less and less as the days went by.
Then I found you. I found you and your face filled my heart.
Your eyes kept mine open.
You were my light, and I started to dream.
I saw the future. I became an Oracle. You were my muse.
I saw our life together,
I saw the routines of my day turn to meaningful work,
because I worked for you.
Your presence bathed my soul and I felt healed.

Now, you push my hands away.
You push my heart away, with no explanation.
You say I would not understand.
You say you dont know who you are and where I fit into your life.

You have crushed my heart.

Now the future is dark, and my eyes dont see.
I could reach out for the comforts I used to reach for
in times of fear and distress,
but they wont be there. You wont be there.
You are present but gone from me.
Your body moves, but not towards me.

I question what I have done.
Why this punishment? Why this torment?
Why do I continue to seek love, to have love reject me?
The thing I most need is always beyond my reach.
Where is the flaw in my mechanism
that sends the things I love away from me,
time after wretched time?

I want to beg you.
I want to get on my knees and hold onto your legs,
and weep at your feet and beg for my life and our life.
Please love me.
Please love me.
How can I turn your heart?
How can I bring back what we had?
Give me the key, show me the way, please.
I love you so much.
I love you with all my life.
With all my soul.
I do not know how to live if not with you.

Love always,
V.

03/15/2009

Posted on 03/15/2009
Copyright © 2024 Vikki Owens

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Joan Serratelli on 03/15/09 at 04:07 PM

This is beautiful beyond words, Very honest and emotional write. I cannot pick a line or paragraoh that I liked the best, because it is all beutiful- every line!

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