Frustration, it buries deep inside you. Always trying to push through the surface, eating away at your mind. You feel it as the frustration builds, it’s like a sand timer filling up slowly. A time bomb, ticking and with each tick you worry if it will explode. Next comes anger, why should you have to feel like this, like everything is you’re fault, it’s surreal and you suddenly become transfixed on the idea that you’re cursed. You want to scream and shout, smash your fists against the wall and let tears of pure rage drip down your face. You feel weak, closing your eyes does nothing, it simply encourages every negative feeling to rush at you. Anxiety, is this it? After everything have you blown it? Will you have to pay for confessing the truth, your stomach sends a tidal wave of nausea through your body. You’re tired, your eyes hurt and your brain is running on overdrive. Will this ever end? Pathetic, that’s what you are letting something so cynical catch you off guard. This is intense, you feel guilt it shouts at you from the deep corners of your mind. How did this happen?


In the end, your mind wins. Defeated you lay helplessly on your bed and let the monsterous, tormenting thoughts begin.


Turmoil is a lonely reality.

03/04/2009