You've entered through David's world
adding names to a dog I've loved for seven months
and in a way I'm glad because David is so happy
he needed to be happy and you don't even seem to try.
And it's all I can do at times when I see you
to not fall in love because your so handsome
and it's all I can do at times when I see you
to not giggle in glee at how quirky you are

I've been thinking wildly desperate thoughts
about how much I don't mean to covet
and wonder if David will fault me
for wanting something, someone, you.
I can be happy with idle daydreams
of kissing boys who look like you
but not like you so much that I'll find myself
friendless and ashamed.

I dream of a moment alone with someone else,
someone who looks a lot like you,
someone who will kiss me back and want to.
In the corners of my mind (and in the center of my heart)
betrayal is cruel, even in thought.
Friendship taints my desire, forcing me to recoil.
I don't want you enough.

3.26.2008

03/26/2008

Author's Note: Some feelings are dangerous to continued happiness.

Posted on 02/24/2009
Copyright © 2024 Brian Fuchs