on being stranded in Alaska

January had been full of
animal dinners and parties
when sadness was setting in
and Lori left suddenly after
and exchange of anger-charged words

I was lost during those cold weeks
that followed and couldn't keep up
Life rushed by and stood still

I know about the carefully discarded
cigarette butts in bottles of soda
and the mornings of coffee and romance
empty mornings and safe

I had days when I didn't eat
that spring and the cheap dinners
of tasteless noodles seemed
heavenly after

The pain doesn't last and Justin
stayed with me until I wasn't unhappy
anymore which was a long time
Then he went home to his life and
left me to forge my new life from
this strange place

Sometimes I want to forget Lori's face
but I keep getting it stuck in my head
I had a dream with hundreds of hens
flocking around me and
they all screamed Lori's name
and I realized that I still love her

despite not being able to hold on enough
to keep her near me
I am floating above this frozen place
this city of refugees lumped together
from many corners of other places

I don't care anymore about knowing about the
coffee and the cigarettes and the novels
it doesn't matter that people are happy when
I can't decide what would make me happy
but I wish the hens would stop reminding me

4.2.2007

04/02/2007

Posted on 02/20/2009
Copyright © 2024 Brian Fuchs