[First Breath]

I would like to preface this
by saying I don't do this often.
I'd use the word 'never' but
I'm sure I've mumbled out an
introduction to someone at somepoint,
progressed through several shades of red,
then made a hasty retreat to my car.

That said, "Hello."

I'm Jason.

[Second Breath]

I figured that if I didn't
say that much, my next week
would be filled with self-loathing
bordering on hatred--now THAT'S
something I'm familiar with.

I saw you were reading and
listening and drinking and
I thought you might be someone
I'd like to know.

[Third Breath]

Just now, I considered leaving,
running back home against the cold
wind, the snow-strewn sidewalks.

But I figured that if I didn't
say something more, my next week
would be devoted to seeing
how big of a hole I could make
just above my headboard by
repeatedly banging my head
against the wall and thinking
repeatedly about how much better
I would feel if I'd just left
without mumbling out
an introduction.

[Fourth Breath]

Instead, I was wondering if
you'd like to grab a coffee
sometime.

I realize we're at a coffee shop
but I'd rather spend a week
repeatedly checking my e-mail,
biting my fingernails bloody.

If I stay to talk, I'll run out of things to say.
You'll see me for who I really am:
hollow, insecure, and narcissistic.

Groucho, too; I wouldn't want a girl
who would have me as her boyfriend;
the thrill is in the anemic, desperate hunt.

Give it a week or two.

You'll figure it out.

[Fifth Breath]

So, "Hello."

I just wanted to get all that out there
so there aren't any nasty surprises later.

02/19/2009

Author's Note: Midday.

Posted on 02/20/2009
Copyright © 2024 Jason Wardell