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Feb. 14 - Autobiography
by Jason WardellI cringe when I think of the past.
The pictures from when I was 1
naked in cowboy boots
The stories of when I was 2
Hawai'ian waves
bowling me over
pulling me under
The false memories of 3
I played Pac-Man
without any coins
The anger of being 4
in moving, preparing
for school, adapting
for an expanding family
The gain and loss of friends at 5
I still haven't
been to Trinidad
The guilt mounting at 6
learning to instigate
never to take blame
brick cleared the fence
caterpillars oozing
The lies continuing at 7
learning how to cheat
without getting caught
singing with a church
I felt no connection to
The varied success of 8
more singing
more writing
more lying
The fights and friends of 9
I probably said
something racist
and hateful got
what I deserved
The realization at 10
that I stood among
giants, meager intelligence
and meager knowledge led to
meager motivation
The start of trouble at 11
nothing that dramatic
I started playing games
and spent all my money
on Magic: the Gathering
The distance of 1000 miles at 12
and I was in Denver
suddenly and alone
The continued trouble at 13
few friends, few
enemies, few family
members, many hours
between the chair and
the computer monitor
The distance of 15 miles at 14
and I was in Lakewood
with new friends, new
enemies, same family
but renewed hobbies
The troubles expanded at 15
card
video
board
role-playing
yeah, that's me
The freedom of 16
that I wasted on
all those things
above
The agnosticism of 17
that was only a matter
of time
The move from home of 18
80 miles north
computer science
The move back home at 19
80 miles south
creative writing
The love letters I wrote at 20
because I couldn't
and still can't
just say "Hi."
The poetry I wrote and read at 21
because I thought
it was amazing
it was OK
but nothing to write about
The girls I left sobbing at 22
the only thing I could do
to keep myself from sobbing
The girls that left me waiting at 23
unable to write, unable
to speak, able to get
what I deserved
The lateral motion of 24
same struggle
same girls
same poems
same letters
same zero movement
same beliefs
same freedom
same games
same friends
same city
same troubles
same intelligence
same lies
same disconnect
same guilt
same loss
same anger
same memories
same stories
same pictures
I'm turning 25 this year
and I am loathe to think
what will make me cringe next. 02/14/2009 Author's Note: The most I've ever written about myself in a poem.
Posted on 02/14/2009
Copyright © 2024 Jason Wardell
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Ava Blu on 02/16/09 at 07:11 PM Wonderful. I like the format you used, letting us see a glimpse at each age. How fitting you use the date pf 2/14 for this. I especially enjoyed this bit: "The love letters I wrote at 20
because I couldn't
and still can't
just say "Hi."" Your poem is quite wonderful and I can't wait to make time to read the rest. |
| Posted by Rachelle Howe on 02/17/09 at 07:52 PM That's my Otis! Nicely done. I'm going to come back and read again. We shall reconvene shortly. :D |
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