Feb. 9 - eHarmony-bound

by Jason Wardell

I'm tired
of working for what I want.
I already bank, shop,
work, and converse online.

And frankly,
the prospect of saying "Hello"
is demeaning and horrifying.

I shouldn't have to
get all dolled up,
iron my pants,
and wash my beard
to meet the woman
I may some day marry
or--bare minimum--love.

With twenty-nine dimensions
ruling out terrorists,
married women,
and republicans
I'm saved the trouble
of ever opening my mouth.

Who knows what
information might
slip out!

I'm relieved
that there's finally a way
to find someone
perfectly suited for me.


Author's Note: That's just a joke; I'd date a married woman in a heartbeat.

Posted on 02/10/2009
Copyright © 2022 Jason Wardell

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Ava Blu on 02/11/09 at 12:55 AM

hahahaha love.

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