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The Plans of a Raindrop
by Jared OrlandoThe rain comes, hidden in angry clouds
Searching for a place to release,
To escape the cycle that it is caught in.
Above the plains, above the mountains
There is a low growl, a pouting, if you will,
As the rains vehicle decides to keep moving on.
Approaching a potential target, a warning is sent
Disguised as deep throaty groans and jagged energy.
This is the place that drops will become showers
Showers become storm, and storm into flood.
To each droplet, they have one specific duty,
And that is to rid the world of such evil
To extinguish fiery hearts, drown out poverty,
Sink and destroy the world in slow moving waters.
The rain will never fulfill its watery plans, however.
For humanity needs more than a flood to change,
More than complete submerging carnage,
More than what any group of raindrops can accomplish.
01/31/2009 Posted on 01/31/2009
Copyright © 2024 Jared Orlando
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Alison McKenzie on 01/31/09 at 08:00 PM I love the line 5, but I totally think it would have more impact without the "if you will". As my poetry professor says, "show us, don't TELL us - we, the readers, are intelligent, and we'll figure it out." Anyway, just my input that I think that rocks!!! I love how you attempt to capture the raindrop's merging into larger entities - showers, then storms, then floods. I have some ideas for revision, if you were interested, but if not....I do love this work as is!!! |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 02/02/09 at 04:01 AM This is a really good, sharply written weather poem, but it also hits a lot of good notes in being so much more. |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 02/04/09 at 06:57 PM Rain is on the brain these days...I loved this piece...so many great lines, like #5 as Lori mentioned, but also the imagery of thunder and lightening, "deep throaty groans and jagged energy. " and the downpour, "drops will become showers/ Showers become storm, and storm into flood." and "complete submerging carnage,"...kudos, jewels |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 02/04/09 at 06:58 PM ..sorry, line 5 mentioned above by Alison, not Lori, duh! |
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