There's a million things I could probably say about this poem, about how powerful it is, how haunting every line feels, but I think I'll just keep it simple and tell you that this is one of the best things you've ever written.

this poem fascinates me. mostly because i found myself, especially the last year or two of high school, teetering between two worlds. i was the "smart kid" in high school. but the last years, i was also the crazy kid. i could've easily been nudged in either direction. i had the friends who were slipping into heavy drug usage. but i also had the friends to balance me out. and i don't know much about if this is autobiographical or not, because i don't know enough about you. and i know that while many of my poems can speak about horrible things, they aren't necessarily true in the physical sense as much as a metaphysical sense. but your poem affected me. it made me stop and think. which is the best thing any piece of art can do, regardless.

the power in this piece for me is the heroic open nature, the bold and brash revelations, the confessional exposure of the subject, whether the writer's self or not...these lines speak to those, like myself, who are still mustering up the courage to face such poems they yet to write, and for that I am eternally grateful for this piece and your presence here...peace to you, jewels

very powerful piece. I can relate on many levels...new year, new name, same substance

i can see why no one ever believes. but i do. and i believe in you. cheesy, yes.

....blankety blank...girl, you are wonderfully raw in this...i am in awe of your gutsy, yet real perspective...

you are absolutely fascinating. this is the second poem of yours I've read, and I'm entranced; not because I'm fantasizing your life, but because you make it so real and so raw and so... painfully exposed. but all the more beautiful because of it. - Quinn

Ava, upon revisiting this piece, and reading Jon Kary's PS comment, my mind recalls a poem by Rumi called the Pickaxe, if you get a chance to read it, you might see how this raw piece can be like the demolition needed before a new structure/future can be erected...I am working on this reconstruction myself, and opening up to writing more flesh n bone pieces, ones I need to face...I don't want to assume anything about this piece, but it triggered that poem in my mind, so I wanted to share it...hugs, bright star, jewels

your work is so raw, unique, and inspiring. This piece invoked so many emotions for me. thank you for showing such honesty

This is raw, passionate, and real. I loved every word of it.

That's a tough piece to start on first thing in the morning, half asleep, before church! I had to grab my coffee and think before commenting. I was thinking how I have never tried pot except at a Primus concert because there was nothing else to breathe. And even though I never went that route, I have known the pain in me, what it has driven me to do, and the capacity we all have to go that far and then some. Great work for sure.

The last time I commented in January of 2009, I had no idea how much was to come for me. Upon re-reading, this poem means something entirely different. What a trip to read something I said before my life changed. Thanks Ava, still a great poem.

I can really relate to every single line of this poem.

And you're right, the smell never really goes away. I taste it in the back of my throat often.

I have no words to adequately describe how I feel the raw pain of this work. So glad I stumbled upon this gem.