21st century man here,
watching an hour go by every minute.
This coldness is evil.
This wind is the wolves.
I want to skip to Friday,
to a road trip out west,
laughing maniacally on the beach.
I want to go out and do something huge,
but school is always wasting my time.
I work like a log,
count my pennies,
and wish I could find a billion more.
My room is made of 80% recycled clutter,
but I need more:
I’m gonna score at the book sale tomorrow,
my bones tell me so.

There are seriously ants crawling all over the place here;
ants, a cold, and the blues. And not even a beer.
First carpenter ants, now baby spiders.
If I make it through the night,
it will be in the belly of some evil creature, I know it.
But, I don’t know much of anything about much of anything.
(I shall sleep on it.)
I’m gonna get up close and personal with a pillow.
I'm gonna sleep in Saran wrap tonight.
I’m gonna slurp cider and watch motion pictures all night.
Watch spaghetti westerns in my new po' poet shoes.
My nose is a big red faucet of snot.
I just bit my lip;
now my Spicy Italian sub is mixed with German blood.
Today I exploded a chicken in the microwave;
I'm gonna crank this Self-Cleaning dial to 11.

I am convinced this week is trying to brutally murder me;
I'm watching my back.
Between getting someone unstuck from an elevator
and seeing a flaming car in a parking lot,
this has been a somewhat unusual week.
And I’m out of Apple Jacks;
this is a glaring omen:
tomorrow is destined to be a terrible day!
I am chilli, thawing feet,
and an unhealthy dose of jolly Xmas non-cheer.
I am foggy and woebegone, but it ain't no thang.
Hopping around the house like a big beige frog,
I am sweaty and nasty. Call if you want a hug.
Diggin’ the new Q-Tip,
worrying about the guy in the woods
with the chainsaw and the gas can,
and wondering why I have the sudden urge
to eat six dozen hard boiled eggs,
I am gonna Thoreau it up.
I am the Hulk... big, green and incredible.

12/30/2008

Author's Note: This is a cheesy and self-indulgent exercise, but anything that gets you writing/ thinking is good, no? These lines were all taken from my Facebook status updates... LAME! But fun. I noticed some recurring themes, and wanted to see if I could shove it all together. So I tried.

Posted on 12/30/2008
Copyright © 2024 Eric Hinkle