this is dark and heavy to me but it's soo true. i wish there were certain people i could stop writing about...

Well, the problem I see with most "love" poems is that they usually are not very good. And there's a reason for this: Most people tend to write more about their expectations of what love should be, rather than writing about their actual experiences with it (says me anyway). Some people might be able to pull that off, but most can't unfortunately and their works comes off as either simply unrealistic or downright fake, in my opinion. Your poems always read as if they are coming off of true experience; whether or not they really are, I don't know. It doesn't really matter though because they've always been very, very good... This one is no exception to that. Lost-love, or unlove, poignantly summed up with just a hint of discontent... An excellent work in other words; very well done, as usual. (As for others on this site who write "real" love poems: I think Alejandra Dobt and L.N. Frayne are two of the best. Neither has posted in a long time and have taken down much of their work, but there still may be something left to help).