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Last Minute Shopping

by Mike Loftis

It was the day before Christmas
and I felt like a louse
I hadn’t yet purchased
a gift for my spouse
I jumped in the car
and drove off toward the mall
The traffic was heavy
It moved at a crawl
I spotted the truck
on an old vacant lot
I pulled in and I asked
“So, what have you got?”
Laid out before me
were marvelous things
A velveteen Elvis
and dog figurines
There was gold plated jewelry
all kinds and all sorts
and warm fuzzy throws
imprinted with sports
I stood disbelieving
my eyes and my luck
I could do all my shopping
right here at this truck
I picked out a few things
while inside I raved
at the treasures I’d found
and the money I’d saved
I drove home and wrapped
each present with love
The velveteen Elvis
The fingerless gloves
I polished the necklace
where it had turned green
and protected with tissue
the pug figurine
The last gift I wrapped
with ribbon and bow
was a New Jersey Devils
NHL throw
I placed all the presents
with care by the tree
with a label that read
to my darling from me
On Christmas I watched
as she stared at the tree
and marveled at all
the presents from me
She opened each one
and in between sighs
I grinned as she wiped
the tears from her eyes
But later that Christmas
my wife was a grouch
She went to bed early
and said “sleep on the couch”
I asked her what happened
She said “you should know
and I hope you’ll stay warm
with that NHL throw


Posted on 12/11/2008
Copyright © 2021 Mike Loftis

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Charles E Minshall on 12/11/08 at 04:52 AM

Funtastic read Mike. Better pick her team the next time....CharMin

Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 12/11/08 at 01:52 PM

Mike Mike Mike! were you ever in a pickle?
I love this :)

Posted by George Hoerner on 12/11/08 at 03:16 PM

Really cute Mike!

Posted by Quentin S Clingerman on 12/12/08 at 01:48 PM

Great humor, satire, and soft sarcasm! An adult parody of "The Night before Christmas"!

Posted by Mary Ellen Smith on 12/14/08 at 03:50 AM

OH LOL!!!!! Love this Mike...what a hoot!

Posted by Rebecca Andre on 11/28/20 at 09:21 PM

HA! What a fun read and worthy POTD

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