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dreams, a letter to lockjaw
by Angela Thomasdear lockjaw,
i've been having these dreams lately and i don't know
what they mean. i mean, i do know what they mean, but
maybe i don't want to know. anyways, there's two dreams,
there's the one where i wake up and i'm in his arms and
my head is on his chest and the soft rising and falling
is sweet and melodic. my hands are around his neck and
his hands are buried in my hair. he turns in his sleep
and kisses me on the forehead. there's this dream. and
then there's the one where the faceless man is sitting
down with a phallus ready for me and i just sit on it.
just like sliding your foot into a shoe, i sit on it.
and there's no sex, no grinding, no voices. just sitting.
and then i wake up. it's same with both of the dreams.
first i'm there and then i'm awake. oh, lockjaw, what
do they mean? am i trying on men like i try on clothes,
staring into the mirror of my unconcious, through a dream
each night and not finding anything that's my size.
am i imagining what's happening, or i want to happen,
or has happened? lockjaw, i wish that the dream decoder
books came with a page bookmarked for me. or some psychic
somewhere would know what to do with these. maybe it's just
the lonliness. the quiet nites, the soft sound of pogo
sleeping when he's in bed with me. maybe it's these things
that trigger the dreams. maybe it's something else. hard
to say, lockjaw, hard to say. well. off to dream. another
time in the light, we'll look at these stories and try to
decide what they mean.
love you,
angela 11/25/2008 Posted on 11/25/2008
Copyright © 2024 Angela Thomas
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