It began the way
it should have ended
quiet
resigned
it would have been brittle
if not for already
being broken
Starting off
on all the wrong footing
fumbling
insecurities
mumbling
insensibilities
no kind of direction
but too much drive
we just never realized
we were always going
in opposite
directions.
It began the way
it should have ended
poignant
practical
a funeral acceptance
when you've done all
your crying
And things start to become
easier, more normal
lassitude
of limbs
gratitude
for silence
never knowing we had
nothing to say
because we never spoke
except in tongues
soft sighs becoming
predictable breathing.

I never wanted to hurt you
but really
you never were affected that much
by me
and I never cared enough
to want to try

You never wanted to resent me
but really
you knew you'd never love me
and I knew it was too easy
for you to fake the difference

We never wanted to be together
but really
we never wanted to be alone
and we knew we were both too weak
to walk away first.

It began the way
it should have ended
passive
regretful
it would have been better
if it had been forgotten
from the first...

11/17/2008

Author's Note: My friend is going through a divorce...though the sad part is not that it's ending but that it ever began -two people so afraid of being alone, they chose being alone with company instead. Sometimes, someone two inches away, creates a far wider chasm, than solitude itself. The piece isn't much, it's raw and rough -but it sums up my thoughts on the matter, and I suppose that's the least I could do. Maybe someday she'll understand my point -maybe someday she might even forgive me for it.

Posted on 11/18/2008
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