Final Entry:

The bridge was gone

Frozen sludge at my feet grew colder as I
made my way down the slippery banks of Tarrytown and into
the Hudson River.

Unerwater eels carried me to the Rockland County side and
I thought about how jealous you'd be.
Ironically I was dumped off at the haverstraw marina. Where boats
lay in waiting of captains who were all surely ice monsters by now.

Much like the life you think you've snagged.


As I entered the church, someone had saved me a seat. And I think the splitting sun bullshit was just something I made up.

The architecture was a bit distracting. All these warm scenes of double plated stained glass, and half naked bodies, stabbing eachother in angels glow.

At the head of the church everyone began clapping.
And although muffled I heard you gasp.
Not because you saw me there,
Not like that would ever effect you.
Not because you're unknown savior was just half a football field away.
But I think your nail broke or something. Your mom giggled, and so did he.

I in turn decided to find those old bats in the belfry they always talk about.
Turns out you can only see those bats if you've hanged yourself from the bell.

So as the service released, and the procession was driving away, I think you waved to me as everthing was fading in and out. I took one last picture of you with my eyes, thank heavens he was already in the car. So after seeing my journey through, and getting probably what I always expected, I twitched and dripped from the bell tower and onto the crucifix below. I was suddenly aware of how dead I was becoming.
And I coulnd'nt help but think.
"This should have been you."

10/11/2008

Posted on 10/11/2008
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