when she first started driving all she'd dream
about was car crashes -- fender benders and scra-
tches all bad bad, and she would worry about dis-
appointing, where the anxiety came from, because
she hated to disappoint even though she was a
disappointing person who constantly made terrible
and awkward social faux pas so when she first starts
any job, all she can dream about is car crashes.

like when she first became a waitress and spent weeks
imagining every way she could drop a plate, spill a drink,
get caught in the weeds and forget every table and miss
every customer. her lack of social skills makes her think
constantly about what constitutes as autism, as minor
asperger's, and if she is, then perhaps everyone?

and she shakes her head no, certainly not everyone
equates failing social graces with car wrecks -- some
are more competent motorists.

09/24/2008

Posted on 09/24/2008
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