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here's my heartfelt relationship advice, from humble experience:

by Eli Skipp

well if i'm going to be honest with you, she mostly says she's
fixing to leave you for a whole barrel full of reasons. well no,
really it's the sex. she says you went from all kinds of sex to
no sex with the blink of an eye, says you're a pansy and a powerless
man, says what kind of man is all tenderness and zero libido -- that
you're halfway dumb and halfway disrespectful and all-ways boring.

she says she's going to leave you for a bearded red-head who smokes
a lot of pot and plays a lot of videogames and fixes bicycles and
rends her heart for a living. says you've plum-done given up.

if i were you i'd man up and stick it to her more often. for heaven's
sake, you can always pretend she's some blonde bimbo in a stroke book.
god know's she's pretending she's screwing a ginger bike-mechanic as it is.

09/24/2008

Posted on 09/24/2008
Copyright © 2022 Eli Skipp

Member Comments on this Poem
Posted by Nanette Bellman on 09/24/08 at 11:48 PM

There's something about red heads isn't there? The last line is classic. Adding to favorites.

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