i can't seem to get one who understands
to bite the hook and take it line and sinker.

i once had one say...
"i hurt you this much???"
because i had constructed letters into words
about how he had made me feel
and i let him read them.

"hurt isn't measured by how much
i write for you, to you, or about you."

and it's not.
it will never be about how many words
i can fit on a single piece of paper.
or how big the words i choose are
or how many other words i could have used
if only i would have looked in the thesaurus.
it's not even about how many books
i could write you.

i've had another forbid me from this.
because
"you should be able to tell me everything
...tell me anything."

so what i'm getting at is this...

if i do it and it's about you,
don't flatter yourself.

and if it's not,
don't worry your pretty little face.

this is pretty much only about me.

it's just what i do.

so let me do it.

09/16/2008

Author's Note: no outlet should cause this many problems. and it won't from now on.

Posted on 09/16/2008
Copyright © 2024 Nanette Bellman