i watched you as you dreamed up pretty things to
tell me, stared as your hands moved awkwardly
to the dangerous thoughts inside your head,
(did you really want to hold me when you strangled
me instead)

i like how this story goes, the way i flirt
with disaster and rewrite the ending to every
one of your futures. you can't keep me alive just
by keeping me lubricated with sweet lies and the

happy pretending we learn to master at 4 years old.
i'm too good for you and i need you to know this
even as i am pulling myself from another drunken
stupor, trying to forget the night before, honestly,
who couldn't want me more at a time like this when
all else has failed me, impaled me, left me hanging

out to dry & you made me cry too many times to count
so that will always count for something in this book
i'm rewriting for you that will eventually amount to
nothing but isn't it something, how i can just look away

and i have so much to say to someone who isn't you, so
much to give away to what is now the ghost of you, so
much of me that you can't believe the energy it takes
just to keep it all inside, just keep it all inside,
i'm just going to keep it all inside now if you dont mind

i watched you as you dreamed up pretty things to
tell me, stared as your hands moved awkwardly
to the dangerous thoughts inside your head,
(did you really want to love me when you hated me
instead)

08/13/2008

Posted on 08/14/2008
Copyright © 2024 Olivia Weinkein