i cannot add up
the days spent working too hard for too little
or the days where i did too little for too long.


i only remember the tiny precious moments
like a tiger lily opening up
and giving me a beautiful thought
that someday
when i'm old and gray
counting
broke open sunflower seeds on the porch
i will think about and wish

that i could have more of those recollections,



or are they just slipping away?


ii.

when i found jesus
filling me up like an arcade slot machine
i was in the middle of no where
and suddenly my vision became technicolorrific:
the grass became like limes
and the sky was like an upside down pool calm with
little wisps of swimming clouds.

i did not realize it at that very moment
but God was talking to me.
Even then, it seemed more like a monologue,
I felt like I was truly conscious for the first time in a long time
but now i realize
it was a dialogue, one of the most important i'll ever have.


iii.

when i was four,
i randomly,
on a whim,
pressed a button on a soda machine
and a soda popped out.

that is the way my life has always been:
pure luck right when i needed it.

iv.
the sun is setting
the day is done
i think i'll go inside
and drink myself some rum.

07/26/2008

Posted on 07/26/2008
Copyright © 2024 Jared Fladeland