i was never heartless
you asked me about rain
& about being alone

i smiled and kept you by my side
for as long as i could

i begged you not to break me but
whispers in the dark don't go very far
& i know that

...now.

but summer's crawling away from me
and my hands aren't very steady &
if you could see me now i'm pretty sure

you wouldn't notice the change

but i remember
everything

& i can't afford to sleep with snakes
or crawl around in someone else's garden
i can't afford to lose any more or keep
pretending that any of it mattered.

you're a faceless stranger in a crowd

& i no longer need to wander but shame on
you for holding my hand and shame on me
for letting you & not trusting myself

to sleep alone because
i was never heartless
and it's just too damn easy
to turn around
and forget

everything

07/25/2008

Posted on 07/25/2008
Copyright © 2025 Olivia Weinkein