as my cigarette burns
i wait patiently for the phone to ring

and as my beer gets empty
i wait for the next song to play.


the jukebox of my feelings
skips to the next song that i will move past.
it is not what i want to hear
it is not how i feel.

my personal juke box of feelings
i listen to the same songs
as my beer becomes empty

i signal for another
which is useless in this place

i am beckoned to come out and play
but the hour is late as morning approaches
the thought of work a dull reminder of my life

life outside my bar
life outside my quiet place

as my cigarette burns
i long for a time it will never go out
a perpetual pack a day smoker
(if not more)

i wonder if the phone will ring
i stop checking because i know better

if it's not mother
it's no one

i am beckoned to come out and play
but the mood is dense
a fog i will not come out of til morning
when the alarm sounds and the dog licks my face

my juke box continues
as i continue to skip to the next
that will numb my brain

as i signal for the beer that i will have to get myself
each habit becoming more prevalent with each day
i realize my jukebox will play
and play
and play
with each night that passes alone in my quiet place

07/23/2008

Posted on 07/23/2008
Copyright © 2026 Jessica A Steenbock