You haven’'t changed, you know:
You still have that wide smile of
Narrow teeth that haunted my
Saturday nights before I knew you
Were as lovely as I suspected.

At the end of my second decade,
I was even more awkward and shy
Than I am now: I eased the suffering
Of nights out by hiding in shadows
Or walking constantly between rooms
To make sure I was ignored.

You were the one person who drew me
Into the multi coloured lights;
The only one I wanted to see me.
You were always there, giving me
Countless nights in which to fail
To muster courage to talk to you.

Somehow, when our paths finally converged,
You failed completely to be
A disappointment: the
Gentleness and joy like wispy clouds
Skimming across the night sky
Was there, just as I saw it in
Sharp relief against the
Violent, despairing nightclub light.

The only disappointment was me
And my lack of confidence to
Ask if the miles we were about
To place between us could not
Form a permanent separation.

And so here I am, years later,
With a you shaped hole in
My life that friends'’ occasional
Photos do nothing to fill.

The last thing I told you
Was that I would miss you.
I was right.

05/26/2008

Posted on 06/02/2008
Copyright © 2024 Richard Vince