People are always mistaking me
for Hallie Berry.

Don't laugh -
it's true.

In many ways
the similarities
are quite striking.

For instance,
she has
skin the color of caramel.
So do I,
although mine
is somewhat
bigger.

She has money.
So do I;
not the same amount, mind you,
but it's just as green.

She and I
have the same
number of limbs.

We share certain habits:
I blink
I breathe
I sneeze
I cough
I blow my nose.

Hallie does, too.

I know-
it's freakish,
isn't it?

Our likenesses
go even deeper:

We both have
the same number
of toenails.
We both have hair.

Really,
we could be twins.

I don't mind it so much,
and she doesn't even seem
to notice it-
just lets it roll
right off her back,
because she's a class act

just like me.

So you can see
why people are always
confusing the two of us.

except
when they confuse me
with Dick Chaney

or
Secretariat.

I guess
I've just got
one of those faces.

10/30/2005