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Willingness

by Anastasia Selby

I forgave you,
have forgiven you
repeatedly.

I know you've lied and still
won't admit it.

I've lied too,
I have things I've never even mentioned,
a dark street I walked down
while you were away,
the bright snow freezing my regret.

I can't continue to wonder if you will
leave me at one point.

It will be either you or me. Right?
Or are we looking at
spending our entire lives together.

Because the first time I was with you
I felt my chest explode,
shaking me like a sickness.

I missed work and made you leave your girlfriend.

You did bad things to me and I overstepped them,
leaving them lying behind me like forgotten pieces of paper
where your infidelities and immaturity
was written in red pen.

But I love you now.
I don't know if it's more
than the last time I loved,
but it's different.

Sometimes I wish I could see our lives ahead,
sparkling sun on a long ocean,
but sadly, I wait for you to fuck up.

05/22/2008

Posted on 05/22/2008
Copyright © 2025 Anastasia Selby

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