Edward the Gnome
holds a pair of emerald axes
versus the Stoneheaded Mob of Gibraltar...

Hold fast your boots to the granite!
Hold fast your soles to the planet!
Hold fast, O, Edward.

Skulls flake off,
undone into splint,
undone into flint.

With blows
to his left and his front,
Edward weathered the brunt
of their blunted odd tools.

Those Stoneheaded beggars
went scrambling in schools.
And, in unison,
every one set sail for port
off in Portugal.

Edward, O, long living Edward,
hold fast to your throne,
and rest the horns of your helmet
on the pelts of your enemies.

Vanquished lie goblins,
and howling as ghosts
sing the winds on the battlefields
trodden with his hobnail boots.

O, slip thy craggy, thy kingly foot
into a silk padded slipper, now.
Sit like a lizard, with beer in your glass,
and hear canticles with familiar refrains.
...Edward the Battler,
...Edward the Broad Shouldered,
...Long live King Edward the Gnome.

05/13/2008

Posted on 05/13/2008
Copyright © 2025 Ryan Nardi