I didn't know
that crying could be
so exhausting
or that
pain could be
so unimaginably big -

like an ocean
without any shore at all.

I didn't know
that sobs could ache so much.

I didn't believe
I could make it through a night
in bed by myself.

I didn't think
it would be so long
before I'd be touched again
so naturally
or so warmly.

But
now I know
the dimensions of hell

and I believe
I can make it there by myself

and I think
I'm strong enough
to survive by myself
forever

and it won't hurt
nearly as much anymore.


I'm through missing you now.

Now
all I have left to miss
is the pain
of
missing you.

05/11/2008