words are so far away......
they disappear into pointless nothingness when having thoughts of a perceived construct of a god 'sense'.
i think about going into this and 'nothing is what i want, and when i find it.. it becomes me without all of the 'somethings' that distracted me from it.
with that in mind i understand that i precariously pretend to be something (as in building a facade) and sort of watch the pretending go away through the repetitive conditioning of the process.
so when you ask me about what i think about god, i want you to know that what i write is merely a play on words, based on a truth i keep that words are only lies that merely point to the truth in reference.
words destroy such concepts by belittling it with arrogance and egotism to prove something.
when there is nothing to prove and i prove it inside of me at all times. ok ... i realize that was just a paradox.
but the paradox is the point.
imagine a world in which only paradox exist and the only way to live is to see with the eyes of irony.
i understand the world to be alive and full of life in every direction, even directions that dont exist into multi dimensional, uni-dimensional or any crunch or expand factor that can be put on it.
there are a particular set of eyes within us that see the same thing, whether it be a view from trillions of light years away or in a sky scraper on a grain of sand.
eternity is what would be infinity if it were not for time influencing the view of it.
and infinity is what would be eternity.
so a reaction takes place on the fulcrum similar to a birthing feeding time to the infinite and timelessness to the eternal.
in physics i represent eternity as a zero inside of a zero infinitely large and small.
and i represent infinity as the endless spiral.
in thoughtless awareness
a representation of this is drawn out as if i where existing as a tree of ancestrial predecessors, and we where one.
eventually a decision was made to see the reaction taking place and grow towards it like the sun.
eventually getting close enough for the infinite zero inside of zero, like rings they isolate me into its mass.
like gravity im born into it to continue my growth, and here i am as a reaction to my negligent curiosity.
just sort of going with whatever im thinking at the time, hence the 'raving and ranting'
but the truth is that i challenge my truths constantly repetitively in order to exercise their meaning, and to coerce the mutation of them to enhance awareness.
for the sake of eternalizing myself.
for the simple fact... that inside my soul/thoughtless awareness..... i lost the sun.