i have nothing left to say to you,
so i pretend to be happily muted by delight.
i can only be so many things
and so i close my eyes to all of it.
numbed and poignantly solidified by tragic wear,
i wave to you and swing my alibi,
i'm really doing fine.
i'm humming a tune for you,
don't you believe me now?
i'm just the same as yesterday
nothing to worry for,
not that you were keeping score or anything.
i'm sorry that i drank your beer,
but you just left them here.
it really wasn't to be a bitch,
although i know i do things like that all the time.
i'm just a little bit unsure about the way you say my name,
i know i don't need to justify to you because you didn't ask,
but i'm not a whore. in fact i haven't slept around
i just like to work the lot.
because it's easy to feel good
around words like "sweet" and "tight" and "hot".
you don't have to be the best at anything you want,
you just have to mean it when you say
that there's something i've got
that makes you stay the night,
and i put up such a fight for you.
a front, a guard, a chip on shoulder blades
you pour me lemonade and then i'm wax or ooze or clay
you mold me anyway you want.
you have control of me, you took my soul from me,
i didn't ask it to be bought but i guess you took a chance
and i took off my pants for you.
so don't ask me to understand or
listen up or be your friend,
because i made mistakes before that turned on me,
you're number four, and you're no good,
i should've known but i was sure you understood.
they never do, they all play nice,
and i'm not one to give advice but this is all i have in me.
i throw it back and forth between my hands
trying not to make demands and being celibate,
yeah i got laid but at the expense of being played
and after all the time i've had to pine,
to lose my apetite, to cry and mope and whine,
i soak myself in cigarettes and rum
and realize just how worthless it all was.
fuckin a, i didn't even come.

04/14/2008

Posted on 04/14/2008
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