by Steven Craig
I have been thinking... and I always come directly to the point when I do so. For in doing, I anger some, in most I raise a fear, but it is my way dear... with word or riding crop, with embrace or knotted rope, I always come to the point of my thinking.
When I look at your picture, I remember days when sunshine made motion of your shadow, as your feet ran with excitement to the one you were deeply in love with. Your picture tell me of a time when you were that deeply in love, and loved, for it is the picture of a lover and a guest in the heart, not that of a simple winch, a slave or bound slut. No, your picture does not tell that side of you at all. Your body's presence, your eyes, your smile, are a panorama of both beauty and love, devotion and happiness. And that was for the eye that held the camera, not those who behold the picture.
Now, tell me the truth, you were so deeply in love... what brought it to such a dire end? In your heart, you have placed the blanket over the sun's shadow, and in your mind, you try to ignore the painful memories and act out a face that wants to care less, when you actually care so deeply.
There is no punishment painful enough to extinguish the flame of love when it burns yet still in the dark caverns of your mind, making warm the cold of the night, but fading with the coming of the light of the day.
Why do you not still do all you can to be with the one you so intensely loved and honored? Why is that one person in all this mad world that put such a smile upon your face, not even now close to your body and heart?
And, I will even intrude more deeply... what great calamity befell you at such a tender age that you seek such ruin upon yourself, and anger at so many? Who was it that broke your sacred trust, deserted you, hurt you, ruined the deep sweetness of your soul that no revenge can ever cleanse?
When one loves, the intensity seems to want to last forever... when it fails, it so often seems that the world is all in league with the chaos of the event. There is never a solution that is permanent. All of us are changing, evolving, growing, and each in a direction and at a speed unique to each such traveler. There is no token that can be exchanged one for one at any point in the journey, for all are on unequal ground and footing.
In the rush to be needed, we all need, but the focus so often falls on what is not acceptable. We see the pain that is not that of love, but of selfish, beaten, misdirection. Anger can rule the stage so quickly. Loneliness can become the closest of friends. In each trying moment, in each cycle of the moon and sun, there is time to pause and reflect upon your life.
As you may beseech the stars and scream obscenities to both god and devil, still you must pause if only to draw breath. It is there, that simple, often ignored moment, it is there that you touch yourself so deeply before you exhale your life away. It is there that you test where you stand, and come to know the stars by name. And in those moments, those brief moments, the place where you stand, even the pattern woven across the sky by those same stars will change.
If I could, I would hug you and hold you and hug you yet more. But the answer is not mine to give to you... but for you to give to others ... and thus realize it yourself.
Now, I will jump off my soapbox... with a sigh. At times, I just have to write/say what I feel and think ... and it just seemed rather special at the moment to say this to you.
Control is not just the whip or the metal cage ... but the mind ... and what slave can ever be beaten with greater finesse than by the word within her own mind, bashing the very substance of her soul into a colorless rainbow.
Now, little one, even though you may sit there in somewhat of a shock, I would ask you to take that moment, and look deep within and share with your special self where the thought takes you.
You have value not counted in jewels, worth not measured in acres, direction not held by a compass, vision not limited by the long horizon.
Pick up your feet now, and dance.
Posted on 03/16/2008
Copyright © 2020 Steven Craig