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a collaborative tanka written by thirteen amateurs.
by Eli Skipp
this relationship
is held together by sex
our love means nothing
i have known this since the start
but i stay because i'm weak
and falling through the
green translucent grass and dirt
in the space between
two turbulent voids of sand
where we forget who we are
we recall the must
the fresh odor of wet ground
and bury ourselves
in the space between
two turbulent voids of sand
where we forget who we are
this relationship
is held together by sex
and soft, safe bedsheets
like snow blankets or the feel
of grass and dirt on your back
in the space between
wishes on mascara eyes
lash and grass and dirt
were sparks of recognition
gutteral, intelligent
design is what has
brought us here, yet we keep this
distance between our
selves and our fragile mindsets,
we're scanning the location
find a place that's soft
we can do it in the loft
don't turn the lights off
this is not philosophy --
it's unadulterated.01/30/2008 Author's Note: thanks to my 2007 erosion of category class at SAIC with Mark Booth. if you find this, add your name to the comments.
Posted on 01/30/2008
Copyright © 2024 Eli Skipp
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Coleman Demiurge on 01/31/08 at 07:30 AM I use to string Haiku, Senryu, Tanka together to form one long poem from many short ones; it turned out pretty ugly for the most part,but where I failed these 13 'amateurs' succeed. An excellent collaboration indeed... Well done |
| Posted by Paganini Jones on 02/02/08 at 03:21 PM I should want to call this a renga. The joy of collective writing like this is the changing and merging of voices which is often more powerful than when one person attempts to achieve the same thing. This poem works very well. Iparticularly like the recalling and changing of phrases used earlier in the piece. |
| Posted by Jared Fladeland on 03/05/08 at 02:41 PM the love the repetition of some images, it tied alot of it together for me. the spaces between and the relationship is held together by sex... |
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