as open as I can be

by Barry Franklin

the blinking cursor mocks me
the whiteness of the page blinds my eyes and stains my thoughts
if I could just fill the empty space in front of me
maybe I could fill the empty space inside of me

I want so desperately to write of a love so grand
I want to write of flowers and beauty and the touch of nature’s hand
but no
I grasp at words that float by…
trying hard to hold on to a thought or idea or memory that doesn’t harm me
trying to feel a feeling that doesn’t feel like I’m only feeling it just to feel something else
trying to get back some sort of sense of myself

all of the nameless faces and places that they are won’t understand
they’ll peek at me, as open as a dissected biology frog
pinned down on a tray in sixth period…
somewhere near the end of the day
and they’ll say: “that is so deep”
but no one will really know
just how deep the well does go
no one ever really wants to look that far anyway

so, as the letters go
one in front of the other
more orderly than my life has ever been
forming words and sentences and phrases and such
so much, but not much
I keep waiting for a hand out there to reach out and touch me
as open as I can be


Posted on 01/27/2008
Copyright © 2023 Barry Franklin

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