this one
makes the world hazy
blurry around the
edges and nothing
no matter how close
is ever distinct

that one
I lose a word
here or there then
phrases and
the last half of every
odd sentence on even
days or
entire trains derailed
of thought

the other one
leaves me tired
all day every
long day long
all I want is
somnolence
- and -
I cannot think
no matter how hard
I try, let alone
clearly
or with purpose

this one, well
it lets me think
in straight lines
talk as if I
have something to
say and carry on
conversations without
screaming and wanting
to hide away far far
away
it lets me work
and pay bills and
escape
the messiness that
is my unmedicated brain
without drugs
the urges to
end it all with utter
finality
make that decisive choice

I know I should
be grateful, to feel
like myself
no matter what the
side effects

But -

Yes, well. But.

01/17/2008

Posted on 01/17/2008
Copyright © 2024 Gira Bryant